Tres fronteras...

The weather in the morning could have been the UK, except the temperature, of course.  Grey sky and rain.  As we cruised the distance to Santa Rosa on the border the sun made an appearance.  Here I got the exit stamp needed to leave Peru.  I then took a launch with Henryk, Suleyka (and her brother who had greeted us) to Leticia, Colombia, to change USD and Soles into Reals.  After this Henryk accompanied me to Tabatinga, Brazil, to get the entry stamp needed to enter this vibrant nation.  With three countries combined in one city, Portuguese being the principal language in Tabatinga and little help for the unprepared Gringo, this would have been a very tricky part of the journey to decipher.  I was deeply grateful for the help of Henryk and Suleyka.  A friend in need and all that.

Recycled tree

I stayed in the Hotel de la Frontera, literally on the border between Colombia and Brazil.  This has to be one of the most relaxed borders in the world.  A few guards are present, usually, and they have two wooden barriers but in reality there's no control of movement.  You are free to wander between three countries as you wish.  After some international wandering I couldn't really see anywhere I'd like to see in the New Year, lots of little cantinas but no real centre to this border town.  I decided to down a few beers on the first floor balcony overlooking the border.  When midnight came fireworks burst into the sky on the Brazilian side.  An hour later the same happened on the Colombian side.  Two for the price of one.  I expressed my gratitude for the people and opportunities of the last year, made a little offering for the upcoming one and wished the world well before hitting the hay.

The mighty Amazon...

The timber trade

And mighty it is too.  When the boat is in the centre of the channel it's impossible to see which way the river is flowing.  Only when you look across the wide expanse of water towards the shore do you have a reference point for the flotsam and jetsam drifting by.  This debris in the river is from two sources.  The vast amount is natural vegetation, including huge tree trunks - the flotsam.  This collects in the currents and eddies into interesting patterns resembling hearts or outlines of continents, for example.  The jetsam comprises rubbish, liberally thrown overboard the rusty old ship like fleas constantly hopping off a dog as it walks.  The endless stream of plastic will eventually end up in the ocean and contribute to the gigantic plastic islands forming there.  Henryk assures me it's a different story in Brazil where this is prohibited.

The day was a lazy one, no other choice.  Breakfast consisted of, guess what, rice water! (Or something very similar.)  Although sweetened.  Accompanying this were bread rolls that were so processed they had no memory of their wheat origin.  During the day I mainly lay in my hammock reading, with the occasional jaunt on deck to watch the passing scenery.  Huge clouds, blue skies and the milk chocolate brown of the river dominated.  A thin strip of green was added by the endless row of trees.  Even so far upstream the Amazon is breathtakingly wide, more like a lake without ends than a river.  Dotted along the shore are villages, not many, but enough to demand frequent stops by our boat delivering much needed consumer goods.  Oil, gas, TVs, furniture, building materials and grocieries formed the bulk of the consignments.  Each time the boat mounted the bank whilst locals received the goods, often thrown to them to save time.

Dinner was surprisingly pleasant dinner consisting of a little meat which oscillated in flavour between chicken and pork.  I added a little of the most appropriately named tuna making it into a feast.  Eventually, I settled down to sleep at 10pm.  As we all settled there were a series of very loud bangs which sounded like gunshots.  Everyone glanced at one another briefly before settling down to rest.  After all, I ain't no John McClane.  Two more intrusions into the peace occurred.  First, at 11.30, we were woken by the police who manned the checkpoint on the river.  An important location considering this is the primary drug trafficking route into Brazil.  The second was courtesy of some Haitians sleeping a couple of hammocks along.  They had been full of energy the entire journey singing beautiful songs in four part harmonies in their mellifluous language, a mixture of Creole and French.  However, there was one guy in particular who seemed to lack a volume switch.  Having not shouted enough during the day he woke at 2am and picked a fight with his wife.  They had an argument which lasted about 20 minutes despite the protestations from the locals.  In the morning they were singing happily once more.  Passionate people.

Grand theft barco...

Designed by Gustave Eiffel

Walking the streets of Iquitos in the searing early afternoon heat, I find myself a little grumpy.  They say you get back what you put out and, sure enough, I was approached by someone I thought I recognised, if only by reputation.  An English man, around 40 years old, slim and cleanly dressed, approached me with a desperate look in his eyes.  He asked if I spoke English and was relieved when I said I did as he'd spoken to over thirty people that morning.  Instantly I was reminded of an article I'd seen on the hotel noticeboard warning of a man of his appearance conning people.  His strategy was to tell tourists he had been attacked and needed money for medical treatment, a ruse supported by a permanently bent little finger.  "I think I've read about you," I said to him, coldly.  He looked flustered and, after I'd told him the article was about some English guy asking for money, I said, "And how can I help?"  He muttered some excuse and left. One-nil to me.  But the score wouldn´t stay that way for long.

The dock of the bay

The day before I'd made some enquiries and discovered there was a boat to Santa Rosa, on the border with Colombia and Brazil, leaving Iquitos at 7pm.  To ensure a good spot on the boat I headed to the port at half past three.  This massive flat-bottomed cruiser was ancient, a rust bucket patched together with welded steel plates.  The lower deck was reserved for cargo and had a roll-on/roll-off  ramp which could surmount the muddy river bank.  An essential feature when delivering to villages downstream without ports or docks.  The upper decks were for passengers.  Two spaces each measuring 20m long by 8m wide were to provide accomodation for up to 100 people.  I slung my hammock at one end of the top deck with a wall on one side where I could keep an eye on my bags.  The toilet was a safe distance away, my second concern, given the stains on the bowl which looked like they'd been there since before my arrival on the planet.

After

Before

As I waited the five hours until departure - delayed, naturally -  the boat began to fill with all kinds of passengers.  I remained the only Gringo aboard as the deck transformed from an open, steel space to something resembling the operating tents from M*A*S*H as the tarpaulin sides were lowered.  As I waited a nun, who was selling cosmetics, warned me to keep an eye on my bags as many are stolen from the few tourists that travel this route. I bought my ticket from a young guy with nail varnish on who had welcomed me on board two hours previously.  About £20 for the two night journey including meals.  Maybe his particular shade of red should have warned me something was amiss.

At last, my Spanish is good enough to more or less understand locals in conversation.  First I meet Roberto, a travelling artesan with bags bigger than a house and advice aplenty.  Next to me are slung two hammocks belonging to Henryk and Suleyka, a teacher and his wife whose help was to prove invaluable.  A short while before departure as the boat was close to overflowing, an older couple arrived and slung their hammocks up between mine and the wall.  "¿Hay sufficiente espacio?" I asked but to no avail, up went the swinging beds.  Parts of her hammock were so close we would be bumping all night.  I thought it'd be some time before I slept with a woman again but it looked like a cosy journey ahead.  A little old for my usual taste but there's always a first time to be a toyboy.

The Victor Manuel

We were woken at 11.30 by the crew checking tickets.  Mine was a fake.  I´d been conned after all.  One all.  Grumpy from being woken up, pissed off at being conned, I had to hand over another £20.  The only thing to do was chalk it up to experience, smile, and remind myself not to get smug or complacent.  A tricky business when there are no offices selling tickets, the crew have no ID or uniforms and anyone and his family can get on and off the boat as they please.  More vilgilance needed!

Feliz navidad...

Christmas in Iquitos.  Summed up nicely by the nativity scene in which the collection of animals and people are really beyond description.  Blazing sunshine, a Christmas dinner of guacamole on toast followed by a visit to the cinema to see Arthur Christmas.  The only thing missing are those folks I love to celebrate with.  Raised a glass to you all, and then another, and another...

I'm about to head down the Amazon to Brazil and will probably be offline for a while again.  

 Wishing you all a...

Próspero Año Nuevo

El Colibrí XII - Christ on a plane...

The eighth ceremony in Peru and the last night at the Hummingbird.  As is often the case with ayahuasca ceremonies, each subsequent evening seems to build in intensity climaxing with the last night.  This was no exception.  For a significant part of the evening I was deeply in the medicine.  Dipping between being present and lost in an altered consciousness, perfect balance.  I knew I was going deeper when a plane flew overhead and I had a conversation with it.  At first all I thought was, 'Oh no.  Not another noisy plane,' but it responded with hurt pride.  I got a sense of the plane being constructed.  How, once complete, it attained a consciousness of its own, although with less emotion than something organic.  As it passed on, cockpit held high, I wished it well and hoped to fly again soon.

If you think that's weird you should probably stop reading now.  Get a cup of tea and go and watch a soap or some football...  Going ever deeper I was looking at the central pillar of the maloka when I saw a light appear behind it to the left.  Bit by bit I saw the emerging figure of a man weaving his way through the trees.  When he was fully in the maloka he walked over to me and I recognised the figure in blue tunic and brown robes.  Jesus had come just in time for Christmas.  Believe me, I know how this sounds.  However, I'd had an impression of Christ consciousness in my first ayahuasca journey and always wondered if Jesus Christ, Our Lord, Son of God, would ever make a repeat appearance.  He hopped up into my third eye and sat cross-legged for a few moments, connecting.  He then stepped down and stood over my horizontal body.  Drifting close to the edge of awareness  I could hear Jesus talking to people I couldn't see, in a language I couldn't understand.  He was working on me but I'm not sure in what way.  When he left, very tall figures, maybe nine feet in height, gathered around me, attending to me.  Shortly, I was sick in my bowl, all the time looked after by these benevolent beings.

The black dog returned and sat in front my mattress, shaking the floorboards as it's weight crashed down.  Again I felt it's malevolence but I wanted to know why it was with me.  Protecting myself energetically, I allowed my awareness to enter the dark energy before me.  In my mind's eye I saw rows and rows of sharp, gnashing teeth.  Formidable and terrifying, although I wasn't afraid.  Just when I was communicating more deeply, Jim ended his icaro, clearing the space with a sharp outbreath and the dog vanished once more.

My ear had improved dramatically.  Whatever had produced the infection had gone - be the cause profane, physical, energetic or spiritual.  All that remained was a mild itching, as if the spider was packing its bags and leaving.  Whatever the cause and cure, I was deeply grateful to have trusted Eladio and ayahuasca.  Whether they directly influenced the process or whether it would have run its course like that in any case, I was still relieved it had not become more serious.

The rest of the evening I spent, mouth agog, marvelling at the light coming from my body.  Staring unbelievingly at the light beings moving through the trees outside.  Struggling to take in the significance of the ceremonies I'd undertaken under the guidance of don Eladio.  With surrender in my mind and love bursting from my heart, I retired to bed to be held by one who had walked the path with me all the way.  At peace, in awe, we drifted off to sleep for a final time at the Hummingbird.

El Colibrí XI - Whole lotta shaking goin' on...

With Kristen and Asger gone, the ceremony that evening had a somewhat reduced feel.  Although a new pasajero had arrived.  A Scotsman who had come to work through some problems with addiction and trauma.  He joined us for the ceremony but elected not to drink.  I was doubtful that between us we could generate the same level of energy as a larger group but, before not much time had elapsed, I would be proved completely wrong.

I blended my visions with imagination and felt angel's wings growing from my back.  These I stretched out and I could feel their strength and power.  As the medicine's intensity grew, I began to see dark energy flying towards me from the front of my mattress.  At first I couldn't make anything out then, suddenly, I saw a giant black dog with tiny red glowing eyes.  This huge animal didn't have a good feel about it, something malevolent.  However, I chose not to react with hostility and sat trying to work out what it was he wanted.  Just as I was connecting Eladio cleared the space with a sharp outbreath and the dog vanished.

Earlier in the day Eladio had told us he likes it when pasajeros get involved in the music, unusual for a shaman.  For this reason he'd provided us all with maracas.  At first I didn't feel like playing but forced myself and gradually got into it.  After some time I was playing vigorously, roughly in time with the complex rhythm of the shaman.  The maraca was pointing in towards my base chakra, delivering energy.  I then had the urge to raise it to heart level and could feel love pouring in.  This I began to send outwards by pointing the maraca around the maloka before shaking it a few inches above the floor in a circular motion.  As I played I was amazed to see light building beneath the instrument.  The floor was glowing a bright white green colour.  When the icaro ended the maraca jumped from my hand and my whole arm started shaking violently.  This vibration ran into my whole body before it travelled back down my arm and 'purged' into the floor.  Powerful tunes.

With my body still I entered a meditative state.  Slowly I felt every cell becoming completely motionless, slowly greying over and being covered with what appeared to be lichen.  In the next moment I had become a tree standing in a forest surrounded by other trees.  Eladio was in front of me singing and, as the tree, I felt incredible joy.  It was obvious to me that trees are delighted when humans pay them such attention.  Perhaps Prince Charles ain't so crazy after all!  As the music ended I felt the me-tree return to a state of absolute stillness, completely content in just being.

El Colibrí X - Web of synchronicity...

Another amazing breakfast of rice water and boiled carrot.  The better way to start your day.  Honest.  Thankfully the dieta ended in the maloka with a refreshing drink of lemon water and another floral bath.  As soon as the blessing had been dispensed I charged off to find my other half and spent the rest of the day remembering what it was like to be able to touch.  Absence of physical contact makes the heart go mental.

By the time the evening's ceremony arrived I found my ear had stabilised.  Although it was still painful and I had lost most of my hearing on one side, I didn't feel it was getting any worse.  My leap of faith seemed to be allowing a natural healing process without the need for antibiotics.  I made an intention to further heal the infection with the help of ayahuasca.  In the early stages of the experience I was given glimpses of how to heal using energy.  By focussing my attention, allowing the heart to spread light, using the arm and hand as a tool to transmit this energy.  As the medicine took hold more strongly I felt a spider crawling on my legs.  My initial reaction was to brush it away with great rapidity.  After all, there is one particularly dangerous spider in this part of the Amazon.  It then occurred to me that the spider energy in my ear was ready to work and was calling in others to assist.  I becalmed myself, placed my hand near my ear and focussed my attention.  Although I had the sensation of spiders crawling on my head I remained placid and tried to send light into the right side of my head.  However, all I could sense was a dull green glow, not the brilliant white light I'd seen in previous experiences.  I sensed the presence of ajo sacha who seemed to be acting in the capacity of an operating theatre nurse.  Just at this moment, in an icaro he was singing, Eladio mentioned her name.  A following synchronicity occurred moments later when, on deciding to end the healing and energetically extract the spider, Eladio ended the icaro in the same instant.

Other synchronistic moments connected to the lightning outside happened about seven times.  In the malestrom of the experience I would have the sense that lightning was about to strike and, on each occasion, it did.  Not so strange when you consider the ability of some animals to sense such natural phenomena before they happen.  Maybe ayahuasca tunes you in to electromagnectic fields in a more sensitive, refined way.  Maybe I'm full of crap.  I just don't know for certain.

Later, I found the strong smells of tobacco and vomit unbearable.  Despite the considerable effort of moving around in the dark in that state, I decided I had to empty my bowl to get rid of the smell.  I made it to the door of the maloka when, once again, I felt a spider on me.  I tried to remove its big, fleshy body as gently as possible before returning to my mattress for my torch.  Confused, I first arrived at my girlfriend's spot.  Upon hearing her scream, which I thought was the other girl, Kristen, I went to my bed which turned out to be Asger's.  Eventually I made it back without too much mayhem caused and carried my torch whenever I ventured outside in the pitch black conditions created by the moon's absence.

El Colibrí IX - Spiderman/Flyman...

The owl, my power animal, made an appearance to instigate my experience that night.  Sitting very alert and still I could feel its gaze assessing the space before me.  Within minutes the medicine came on very strongly and it was difficult to sit up.  Throughout the evening I continually slumped to the mattress but each time I felt Eladio telepathically willing me to sit up.  Despite repeated attempts I eventually submitted to the will of my body and remained supine for most of the night.

As I lay down I imagined (or felt) ayahuasca operating on my ear.  I could sense a spider inside, pulsing occasionally.  Presuming this was the insect (either real or energetic) that had caused my infection I tried to direct my intention towards its expulsion.  After some time it felt as if the spider had gone, although my ear was still painful.  I asked ayahuasca whether the operation had been a success and thought I was given the true message that it had, and the symptoms would be gone in the morning.  Needless to say, they weren't.  This raised the question 'How do you discern true messages of ayahuasca from the ramblings of the monkey mind?'  A difficult one to say the least.  In the morning Rory suggested the spider may well have been an animal spirit which was working to help me, to extract the negativity causing the infection.  This explanation appealed to me but the pain was growing and I wanted to take the antibiotics.  Surprise was my response when Eladio suggested I hold off and let ayahuasca do her work.  The doctor at the clinic had told me infections often lead to perforated eardrums if allowed to run their course.  A leap of faith was needed, and that's what I took, selecting to postpone the course of antibiotics.

Back to the experience itself...  There were many strong visions including a demon within that overwhelmed me when it surfaced.  This is such a hard thing to describe as it really has to be felt.  It's as though there is an entity living within me that has been controlling some of my negative behaviour over the years.  Something so strong it was impossible to resist.  I realise how this may sound to many, it sounds pretty crazy to me too, but that's the experience. Eladio seemed to know it was there during his rounds.  The location he placed his thumb on my spine was the exact centre of this entity's energy.  Weird.

During the introduction to the plant dieta, we were told it would be possible to connect to the plant spirit and  ajo sacha made an appearance.  First I got the sense of ayahuasca as an all powerful plant spirit.  A kind of energetic shield like an umbrella under which other spirits could operate.  The vision of ajo sacha was one in which I was stood in front of my tambo bathing with her watching approvingly as the process cleaned my systems.  Powerful when combined, I got the sense of these plants helping me.

After the invasion of the spider it was the turn of the fly.  For an unknown reason I began to see images from the film 'The Fly' with Jeff Goldblum.  As these images proceeded I felt I was becoming this man-fly hybrid.  I could feel the insectivorous characteristics permeating my mind, felt myself vomiting on food before eating, the skittish eyes constantly searching.  Although it sounds pretty grim it was quite entertaining to get another perspective.

After the ceremony, in which I hadn't been sick, I was chatting with my girlfriend outside... no touching, naturally.  Suddenly the purge came and I staggered towards the trees clutching my mouth.  I knew I wouldn't make it to the trees in time which scuppered my plan to donate the purge to a tree in a controlled manner.  It's suggested the spirit of the tree can be grateful for your donation as it can help them grow.  You just need to connect first and ask permission.  On this occasion there was no time for that.  I staggered forwards not knowing where to go or where to puke, becoming increasingly disorientated.  Suddenly a little bush next to me seemed to cry out, "Me!  Over here!  Come to me!"  Deeply grateful I collapsed to my knees and grasped the stem of the young tree.  Finally grounded, I was able to deliver a hearty portion of fertiliser directly to the roots of this little plant with which I seemed to have connected.  Afterwards, however silly it may sound, I spent a while talking to the plant, as if it were a pet dog.  never before had I felt that plants, too, have their own characters.

El Colibrí VIII - Infection defection...

For the previous two days something had been bothering me.  My ear had been getting increasingly painful and it was clear to me I had an infection of some kind.  This was a concern as infections can become pretty nasty very quickly in the jungle humidity.  The only safe preventative action was a course of antibiotics but this would mean no more ayahuasca.  It's not safe to mix many pharmaceuticals with this powerful plant medicine, especially antibiotics.  I asked Eladio for his advice and he told me it was possible an insect had entered my ear and caused the infection.  His suggested I go to the clinic in Iquitos to have it cleaned and assessed.  He had previously worked in hospitals as a nurse and I was grateful for his medical training and practical approach.  No sacrifices or offerings necessary.

Given that I was meant to be in ajo sacha isolation the last thing I wanted to do was head in to the turmoiil that is Iquitos at Christmas.  There are so many people shopping at this time of year they close many side streets to accomodate the extra market stalls.  Bumping and swerving our way through the crazy traffic, we arrived at the clinic.  I'm happy to report how pleased I was with the clinic.  The facilities were clean, I only had to wait a short time, the staff were very professional and it didn't cost an arm and a leg.  Just shy of a pony for assessment, cleaning and medication, which included drops, ibuprofen and antibiotics.  Mission accomplished, we headed to a restaurant where I had to drink a cup of boldo whilst watching all the centre's staff and volunteers eating sumptuous meals.  On my return I was only too happy to be alone in my tambo, readjusting to the soothing sounds of the jungle while the pain spread from my ear into my jaw making even a small boiled carrot a task to consume.  Reassured by the presence of the medication I could relax.  However, the pills would have to remain untouched until the following day as the time for another ceremony had arrived.

El Colibrí VII - Vampires beware...

During the conversation held every morning the night after a ceremony, Eladio suggested it would benefit me to undertake a plant dieta.  These special plant diets usually last for a period of seven to fifteen days but mine, along with Kristen's, would only last for three as this is all time would allow. I wasn't sure why I had been selected and wasn't particularly keen as  dietas can be quite restrictive.  Some of the conditions include:

• Isolating oneself as much as possible in order to connect with the spirit of the plant being worked with.  This meant spending the three days in a tambo, the wooden huts deeper in the jungle away from other people.
• Limiting reading to as little as possible as it is seen as a distraction, the idea is to still oneself as far as is possible.  Writing a journal is acceptable.
• No listening to music so the ears can absorb more of the sounds of the jungle.
• Restricting the diet to extremely simple foods.  For me this meant a boiled carrot and the water from cooked rice for breakfast, potatoes or some very limited boiled vegetables for lunch and no dinner.  Nice!
• No physical contact with anyone... including my girlfriend.  This was the trickiest part.  Throughout our ceremonies together the prospect of a cuddle at the end of each evening is one of the most welcome moments.  So, no slap and no tickle.

The plant Eladio had chosen for me was ajo sacha, the name, a mixture of Spanish and Quechua, means 'garlic vine'  To begin the dieta I first had to take a shower then enter the maloka for an initiation ceremony.  I was given a tumbler full of ajo sacha water to drink.  This is a concoction made from the scrapings of about three or four roots of the plant.  As you can probably imagine, its flavour isn't a patch on raspberry ice cream and, in addition to the taste, it has a caustic quality and feels almost carbonated as it burns its way down the oesophagus.  Kristen found it particularly unpleasant and vomited instantly.  This work with plants has so much nausea and sickness involved with it, it's a miracle anyone ever begins.  Testament to the possible outcomes, I suppose.

After ingesting the drink we were instructed to take a bath using water infused with herbs, flowers and ajo sacha.  You can imagine how pleasant I smelt after that.  This garlic aroma didn't leave me for the entire duration of the dieta.  It especially seemed to emanate from my palms.  Eau de ajo - not quite the ladykiller of Old Spice!  During the bath we washed the body twice from head to foot.  The first time focussing on removing negativities and the second to instill positive qualities as well as asking for good health and guidance from the plant.  Ajo sacha is known to be helpful in cleansing and protection.  I surrendered to to the process.  After the bath we returned to the maloka for a blessing before retiring to my tambo for the night.

El Colibrí VI - Tobacco is good for you...

We are continually taught that tobacco is bad for us.  It's true that smoking contributes to all kind of horrible diseases, especially the adulterated cigarettes the corporations provide the world over.  However, in shamanism tobacco is considered one of the most powerful plants of all.  It has been used for thousands of years in many parts of the world from the jungles of Peru to the Siberian wilderness.  It is used as a powerful purgative to cleanse the body.  It was my turn to experience tobacco in a completely new light through a tobacco purge.

At about ten o´clock I entered the maloka where Ealdio was waiting with his latest tasty beverage.  He may be a man of power but I'd recommend getting someone else as a cocktail waiter.  He'd made a tea using tobacco with added coffee and sugar.  I can't quite see this replacing the quick fag and dash to Starbucks enjoyed by many office workers during their morning break but it wasn't as unpleasant as it sounds.  After gulping down the liquid I took a floral bath, first crossing my head and chest with the water (nothing to do with Christianity) before drinking a handful.  Following this I bathed from head to toe (more on this in the next entry).  Kristen and Jim, who were also having a tobacco purge, joined me in sitting with Eladio for the next ninety minutes.  We had been warned we may well feel pretty awful.  Anyone who's smoked too much in one go can imagine why.  However, after an hour and a half we still felt fine and decided to head back to the main house.  Before we left, Eladio handed us each a bottle of boldo tea.  A herb which assists the plant purgatives in cleansing the body.  Although not unleasant, we were to drink so much of this tea over the next few days it slowly became my nemesis.

I returned to my room where my girlfriend was waiting, keen to watch me as I went through the process.  To help I drank half a litre of boldo in the hope of purging.  This did the trick and, sure enough, I was sitting pretty with a bowl full of the contents of my poor, confused stomach.  A smugness filled me as I thought I'd got away with completing a tobacco purge without any nausea.  Confidently, I trotted downstairs for lunch.  Halfway through, however, I began whining to my other half that I couldn't eat any more.  A great surprise for her as she'd become familiar with my hearty appetite.  We returned to the bedroom where the nausea kicked in.  For about two hours I lay on the bed saturating the mattress with my sweat.  Tossing this way and that I couldn't shake the feeling.  Eventually she suggested we go for a swim which seemed like a good idea.  Full of feminine intuition, her suggestion was perfectly timed as, when I was leaving the building, I purged again... big time... everywhere.  I was grateful to be outside and just made it to the toilet in time to avoid fertilising the entire garden.  Tobacco is indeed a powerful plant!  After the swim I skipped dinner, my appetite having done a runner.  I spent a little quality time with my girlfriend as we were about to be separated, against our wishes!

El Colibrí V - Shamanic power...

The ceremonies were held every other day, with a rest day between each for recuperation and integration.  This was the second ceremony with Eladio and in it I realised why he deserved the title 'Don'.  Eladio's father was a healer specialising in tobacco (a tabaquero), his grandfather had been the same but, in addition, he was also an ayahuasqero.  It is from him Eladio learnt many of the secrets and traditions of his shamanic practice.  Now almost 50 years old, he has been working with plant medicines for over 30 years.  During a brief period in Peru when the government declared ayahuasca illegal, Eladio protested and was sentenced to nine months in jail.  This earned him the title 'Defender of the Vine'.  It is clear he believes in his mission to heal and teach as many people as possible.

My visions began relatively quickly; they were the strongest and most surprising I'd ever had with my eyes open.  The first menifested when Eladio had moved closer to Kristen and was performing some healing through gentle whistling.  Above his head, stretching across the maloka, appeared a dragon.  This huge, ornate being took a swipe at Kristen with its giant claw just as Eladio was using a type of sharp outbreath used for clearing which sounded something like, "sssssshhhhoo!"  The dragon disappeared.  I'd thought the dragon was attacking Kristen but, in the following day's discussion, Eladio said he often worked with dragon spirits and this one was there to assist him.

This powerful clearing breath was used throughout the ceremony.  At the end of his icaros, Eladio would often clear the space of dark energy using this method.  At the end of a couple of his songs I saw bright beams of light blasting across the roof of the maloka.  It seemed like anything in the way was blasted out of the space.  Protection in action.  During the icaros the build up of energy weas palpable.  There were moments Eladio was singing and dancing in front of his mesa (table) when I saw energy pouring from him in al directions, like a river of feathers from his body.

One of his actions was one of the most convincing displays of his power I saw during my stay.  I hadn't felt at all nauseous throughout the evening, just a feeling of liquid in my stomach when lying down.  Eladion made his rounds, singing and playing the maracas with vigour.  When he came to me I instinctively sat upright and moved along to his rhythm.  At one point he crouched before me, something he only did once.  It felt as though he was singing directly into my stomach.  Although I felt absolutley fine a moment before, as soon as he stood up and moved on I purged massively.  Frantically reaching for my bowl I was just in time to catch the torrent of burning hot vomit surging from my insides like the jet from a firefighter's hose.  This was one of the few moments my consciousness moved beyond my awareness.  After some minutes of purging  on my hands and knees I was finally able to sit upright only to find my bowl in a position I hadn't expected it to be.  'Where was I being sick then?' I wondered.  On the floor, was the unwelcome answer.  Although most of the considerable volume of liquid had gone into the bowl, some of it had either splashed out or completely missed and ended up in a puddle on the floor.  Needless to say I spent the next ten mintues scrabbling around in the dark cleaning it up.  The joys of ayahuasca!

By the time of Eladio's next round I was deep in the medicine.  Again, I instinctively sat up when he arrived at my mattress.  This time he place his hand on my head and I felt as if he was holding his face millimetres from mine.  Just when I realised this wasn't the case and he was still upright, he was snatching at my chest removing whatever negativity he saw residing within.  Before I knew what had happened he was off again to the next pasajero leaving my jaw trembling with the powerful energy he had just transmitted.

Other visions were equally impressive and transient.  Like lying down feeling very contented and hearing a purring, very loudly within and without.  When I sat up it stopped.  On lying down again it returned and soothed me deeply.  Or seeing light emanating from my body, something I've seen before but am always utterly captivated by.  Or seeing several 'Eladios' in the maloka at the same time, omnipresence in action.  Maybe most important is a felt ability to help other people remotely.  I suppose it's akin to the power of prayer and intention, although my western mind resists such concepts.  For example, I saw someone close to me suffering because their heart isn't fully open.  Although at a core level they want to love others, they find it difficult to let go of the judgement.  Ego gets in the way.  I felt my own heart reaching out to theirs, gently encouraging its own self-liberation by alowing love to flow more freely.

Overall a powerful night full of visions, sensations and feelings the authenticity of which is difficult to deny.  For a long time I have been asking whether these manifestations are glimpses of a normally concealed reality or simply a hallucinogenic resut of biochemical reactions in the brain.  This night shifted my opinion towards the former a considerable distance.

El Colibrí IV - Doctor Feelgood...

After another lazy day that evening saw our first ceremony with don Eladio.  This made me reflect on my reasons for coming to the centre.  There are two general motivating factors for people to drink ayahuasca - healing and learning.  Not being particularly unhealthy my reason was clear.  I wanted to learn about the all-powerful plant medicine to a depth I'd not experienced before.  I wanted to see the movement of energy in the world and in my body which is normally concealed during our normal state of consciousness.  I wanted to understand how this reality works beyond the level of our logical, reasoning intellects.  No small ambitions and I was pleased to hear we'd be drinking ayahuasca brewed by Ron Wheelock, the Gringo Shaman of Iquitos.  A powerful concoction by all accounts.

His particular recipe is a closely guarded secret but one thing's for sure - it's sickenly sweet.  This does mask the foul taste to some extent but creates a whole new challenge in dealing with the edulcorant liquor.  After the ceremony was opened by Eladio with his space-clearing and blessing, each pasajero drank in turn.  We settled down to wait whilst the shaman, dressed in a silky white suit Elvis would have been proud of,  whistled to call in the spirits.  I meditated and, as previously, had some enhanced physical sensations of deep stillness.  After an hour, thinking the ayahuasca was kicking in, I shifted my posture only to realise I was still in my normal state of consciousness.  Disappointment arose as in previous ceremonies I would have been flying high by this point.  In the moonlit maloka around me no one had purged, strange after so much time had elapsed.  The only indication the medicine was not completely ineffective for a second time was Kristen, whose mattress was directly to my left.  She was giggling and moaning; crawling around the wooden floor banging it with her hand.  As time wore on she became more vociferous and active to a distracting level.  Normally I try and respond with compassion and tolerance when people can't contain themselves but I found it hard.  The frustration of so much time with ineffective medicine was taking its toll.  When Eladio came to me during his healing rounds I willed him to leave, my frustration morphing into anger.

Jim crossed the maloka to sit with Kristen as she began to lose control completely.  I lay on my side, with my back to them and decided I'd go to sleep.  As Jim's presence calmed Kristen I allowed my attention to shift to an internal perspective which is when the effects of DMT began.  These effects are common with ayahuasca journeys and often manifest in the beginning stages.  Geometric patterns and colours are frequently seen in shifting images akin to the kaleidoscopes of childhood.  Before my third eye were beeswax patterns of red and blue, completely captivating and enthralling.  Before long the urge to purge arose and I was sick into my ever-present bowl.  Afterwards I was free to enjoy the rest of the ceremony and began to see the particular style in which Eladio worked.  His skills as a musician were impressive, especially when playing the harmonica.  He also had a nifty trick of using a red torch to undertake his healing work, a strong effect when under the influence of Madre Ayahuasca.

Overall, the night was better than the previous one although I still felt it was lacking.  My realisation was a humbling one.  Perhaps I did need healing of some kind, although I struggled with the word and preferred to call it cleansing.  I vowed to ask ayahuasca to help cleanse my body, spirit and mind in order that I might learn in the future.  As always, she was only too happy to oblige.

El Colibrí III - Crazy nights and lazy days...

There's a certain pace of life you have to enter if you wish to stay at the Hummingbird.  The ceremonies are full on and hectic events but the times in between, which make up the bulk of your stay, are for relaxation.  No work, shops, phones, television or internet which can send people crazy if they're not used to it.  To compensate, on offer is a chance to connect with the vibrant jungle surrounding you, not possible to do when constantly diverting the attention into the distractions of modern live.  If this is a step too far then you can ease yourself into a more peaceful state by talking with your companions, playing with the animals, reading from the extensive library or swimming in the lake.  Slowly, everyone settles and a collective calm descends.  A precious commodity in our modern world.

El Colibrí II - Into great nothingness...

Maloka exterior

We were told the resident shaman, don Eladio, was away from the centre attending his son's graduation.  To take his place, another shaman, Hector, and his younger brother were to preside over the ceremony that evening.  We began at 7pm with the pasajeros settling in to their respective matresses propped up at equdistant locations around the perimeter of the maloka.  Hector and his little brother began by 'clearing the space of bad energy' which consisted of them singing icaros and blowing tobacco smoke.  These guys were tobacco obsessed and were constantly puffing away.  They asked all the pasajeros to smoke a mapacho (natural, untreated tobacco - a bit like a cross between a cigar and cigarette), even the non-smokers, who happily complied.  After reading the Lord's Prayer in Spanish(!?), the ceremony began.

Maloka interior

I drank a cup of the oh-so-tasty ayahuasca the guest shaman had brought with them.  As usual, I sat meditating, awaiting the onset of the medicine.  After half an hour I began to feel very hot, more than anything I'd experienced before.  With sweat pouring from my body I had to remove my shirt before lying down and purging into the handily placed bowl beside my bed.  With such a short time between ingestion and expulsion I began to feel I'd emitted too early as there seemed to be no effects whatsoever.  After a short time I plucked up the courage to go up to the shaman and ask for more.  During some ceremonies the timing of such an act can be tricky as shamans can often be very busy healing, singing, dancing or clearing the space.  However, Hector & Co were so sedentary I wasn't sure they were even still alive.  Truth be told, shamans can be doing an awful lot whilst seemingly doing nothing but I didn't feel that was the case with this duo.  The younger of the brothers kindly agreed to provide me with another cup.  He asked me if I'd like, "Grande?" and placed his hand on a larger, different bottle.  It turns out this was the tried and tested brew the centre normally uses but, thinking he was asking what size drink I'd like I replied, "Lo mismo," - 'the same'.  With a murmer of surprise he poured a draft from the original bottle of ayahuasca which, it transpired, was completely ineffective for all the pasajeros that night.

I spent the rest of the evening meditating and all the mental effects I experienced that night can be attributed to the altered consciousness meditation can create.  Such as feeling the body sink into the earth through the effect of gravity or deep gratitude for friends and family.  So, on the whole a very disappointing first ceremony for all, for which the centre's owners apologised profusely being only too keen to reassure us that subsequent ceremonies would be very different indeed.  

It wasn't a complete let down for everyone, however.  Hector & Co had drunk from the centre's stash of ayahuasca.  They spent the night staggering in and out of the maloka, throwing up in the surrounding vegetation.  I was told that westerners often have a higher tolerance for the medicine that native Peruvians.  It was good to see someone having a strong experience.

El Colibrí I - The Hummingbird...

We were met at our hotel in the morning by Jim Davis, part owner of the Hummingbird - an ayahuasca retreat centre located forty minutes north of Iquitos by motokar.  Max, the resident driver, raced along the only road leaving the city.  As we sped through the claustrophobic streets buildings gradually surrendered to the jungle.  We passed the rural-urban fringe where, due to Peruvian laws concerning squatters' rights, large groups of new houses are being built literally overnight.  Once in place, with sufficient inhabitants, these settlements are nearly impossible to remove.  Urban sprawl is only too alive and well in the Amazon.  We eventually left the tarmac and drove a couple of kilometres down a dirt road to the centre.  We were accompanied on the way by a huge dog, an impressive specimen who kept pace alongside the motokar.  This was Bindi, a beautiful dog and the first of a fine collection of animals living at the Hummingbird.

On arrival, the boys who had been bouncing along with us down the dirt track jumped off.  One of them, Georgie, was a great young lad and the stepson of Jim who'd married his mother, Gina, a year before.  Along with this family, the centre was home to Tracie Thornberry, a wonderful Australian woman and the founder of the centre.  Mark, her brother, was also living there along with Paul Statton, an ex-lecturer in economics who had decided to change career paths completely and now worked in healing people using 'energy'.  In addition there were a team of about eight locals working in the kitchens and gardens, all of whom were friendly and cheerful.  Then there were the volunteers, travellers staying at the centre for a while and working in return for the opportunity to work with ayahuasca on a regular basis.  Liz and Rory, both originally from northern England and Jai, an American with a great sense of humour and amazing flute playing ability.

In addition to the human presence were four dogs; the aforementioned Bindi, the ever-humble Moona, Blankita the burglar alarm and cheeky little Frankie, a tiny dog with enough testosterone to more than handle the overwhelming presence of bitches.  The cat, Joanie, was the long suffering feline presence, not only tormented by the dogs but also by the master tormentor himself, a capuchin monkey called Flloyd.  Flloyd had arrived at the centre when a vet, who was raising him after his mother had been killed by hunters, decided a city apartment was no place for a monkey and asked if he could live at the Hummingbird.  Instantly charming, his boisterous antics were a source of non-stop entertainment.  Every day we would return to our room to find our belongings strewn everywhere.  Toilet paper hanging from hooks, chewed-open packets of painkillers and disappeared semi-precious stones.  During our first night we had lain down to sleep when I heard something jump on the mosquito net.  Terrified it was the big, brown, deadly spider we'd heard about I nervously poked the small lump above us.  The little trill we heard told us Flloyd had come to visit.  When I tried to get him down he clung to my arm and refused to let go for over half an hour.  Eventually he urinated on me before scampering off.  Never have I met such a playful, naughty little animal.  Brilliant.

We were referred to as 'clients' or, my preferred term, 'pasajeros'.  As well as myself, the other 'passengers' included my better half and a Scandinavian couple - Asger from Denmark and Kristen from Norway.  Although the two of us had drunk ayahuasca before it was their first time.  However, they'd done their research and, as a result, had an outlook of eager anticipation combined with a little respectful nervousness.  Spot on.

The facilities at the Hummingbird suited me fine.  There were buildings for the workers and volunteers at one end of the site.  In the centre was a large house which could sleep thirteen upstairs with an open plan dining/living/relaxing space.  A large area of decking overlooking a lake and the forest completed this building - the hub of activity.  Nearby were outside areas for relaxing including a picnic table and hammock shelter.  Two other large houses were close by used by the owners, Tracie and Jim.  Sanitation was in the form of compost toilets which were really well maintained, with human waste being turned into humanure for the attractive gardens and growing plots.  A water tower was filled daily using a generator and prodvided fresh water from a natural source for washing in the shower blocks.  Finally, and most impressive, was the maloka.  A circular ceremonial space which could hold up to seventeen pasajeros on any given night.  It's floor and lower walls were wooden with mesh windows to let in light and keep out bugs.  The roof was a clever construction which resembled a spider's web.  Quite a building!  Further into the jungle were trails that led to tambos, isolated huts used to give people the quiet time they needed.  The whole place was, in effect, without electricity - except the small, intermittent supply from the generator.  Oil lamps were used in the darkness and the natural rhythm of day and night were more apparent.  Stars aplenty glittered across the firmament whilst the dusk orchestral chorus of frogs, birds, insects and mammals soothed us all into early sleep.



Paddington goes underground...

Iquitos - the largest settlement on the planet into which everything must be imported by air or boat, including me.  More on this enticing city later, for now I've booked myself onto a 14 day programme incorporating a variety of practices with ayahuasca as the central theme.  No doubt there'll be a flurry of blog entries on my return.  Until then, I hope you enjoy advent and connect with as many folks as you care to over mince pies, mulled wine and long walks in the snow!  Hasta dos semanas...