My second desire over the last ten years has been to explore the mind a little. This began with meditation, first with the FWBO and then in the vipassana tradition. This gave me some tools to help explore a different path; the powerful plant medicine from the Amazon - ayahuasca. It was only fitting to end the trip with one final ceremony and we headed to Pisac in the Sacred Valley to do just that. Strangely, when we arrived we weren't greeted or given any instructions about the evenings events. Still, the place looked the part and we made our own way into the maloka, already filled with about twenty people. A French guy, Jean, was holding space that night and, after a few opening words, we began to drink in turn.
It was a strange beginning to a ceremony for me. Earlier that day I'd had an encounter with an artisan-cum-shaman who had thrown me into some confusion - mainly by insisting I was confused! Our interchange had put me right back in the mindset I'd had when I'd arrived to work with ayahuasca - doubt and skepticism. However, once again ayahuasca would work her magic, dispelling my doubt about her power to work wonders and transforming my skepticism into fascination once again. It began gently as I sat listening to the music - accompanied by the beginning of a veritable symphony of vomiting from the pasajeros. Apart from one English guy heavy breathing in my direction for most of the night, the evening was remarkably peaceful. I even fell asleep and snored for a spell.
I had a simple intention for my last encounter with the great teacher which was 'show me what I need to know.' And a few things came into my awareness which were helpful reminders or fresh insights. One example was the reason I always like to walk in the hills if there's something on my mind. The problem isn't always solved on my return but for some reason I always feel better about it. The reason, it was made apparent to me, is the fact that, when walking in highlands, the landscape forces upon us a sense of our insignificance. Just a tiny, ephemeral human trotting through the massive, ancient land. This sense of insignificance makes any problem seem like a passing breeze rather than a hurricane force gale.
Ayahuasca works in mysterious ways: a hard taskmaster and a kind protector; an unforgiving mirror and wise teacher. The journey is not always easy, physically or mentally, but the rewards are manifold. I have seen and felt many things, some of which are of immediate practical benefit and others seeming more like a strange dream or an overactive imagination. This is no drug, it is far more than that. A great deal of my skepticism has left me and I feel there is far more to ayahuasca than meets the eye. Yet, the further I've gone down this journey of the mind it is questions that arise far more frequently than answers. It's a little complicated!
So, for now, as the circle closes on this odyssey, my desires have been sated, at least in part. Yet already I imagine new ceremonies I want to attend and other far-flung locations I want to pass through. It seems one lifetime isn't going to be enough!
