El Colibrí IV - Doctor Feelgood...

After another lazy day that evening saw our first ceremony with don Eladio.  This made me reflect on my reasons for coming to the centre.  There are two general motivating factors for people to drink ayahuasca - healing and learning.  Not being particularly unhealthy my reason was clear.  I wanted to learn about the all-powerful plant medicine to a depth I'd not experienced before.  I wanted to see the movement of energy in the world and in my body which is normally concealed during our normal state of consciousness.  I wanted to understand how this reality works beyond the level of our logical, reasoning intellects.  No small ambitions and I was pleased to hear we'd be drinking ayahuasca brewed by Ron Wheelock, the Gringo Shaman of Iquitos.  A powerful concoction by all accounts.

His particular recipe is a closely guarded secret but one thing's for sure - it's sickenly sweet.  This does mask the foul taste to some extent but creates a whole new challenge in dealing with the edulcorant liquor.  After the ceremony was opened by Eladio with his space-clearing and blessing, each pasajero drank in turn.  We settled down to wait whilst the shaman, dressed in a silky white suit Elvis would have been proud of,  whistled to call in the spirits.  I meditated and, as previously, had some enhanced physical sensations of deep stillness.  After an hour, thinking the ayahuasca was kicking in, I shifted my posture only to realise I was still in my normal state of consciousness.  Disappointment arose as in previous ceremonies I would have been flying high by this point.  In the moonlit maloka around me no one had purged, strange after so much time had elapsed.  The only indication the medicine was not completely ineffective for a second time was Kristen, whose mattress was directly to my left.  She was giggling and moaning; crawling around the wooden floor banging it with her hand.  As time wore on she became more vociferous and active to a distracting level.  Normally I try and respond with compassion and tolerance when people can't contain themselves but I found it hard.  The frustration of so much time with ineffective medicine was taking its toll.  When Eladio came to me during his healing rounds I willed him to leave, my frustration morphing into anger.

Jim crossed the maloka to sit with Kristen as she began to lose control completely.  I lay on my side, with my back to them and decided I'd go to sleep.  As Jim's presence calmed Kristen I allowed my attention to shift to an internal perspective which is when the effects of DMT began.  These effects are common with ayahuasca journeys and often manifest in the beginning stages.  Geometric patterns and colours are frequently seen in shifting images akin to the kaleidoscopes of childhood.  Before my third eye were beeswax patterns of red and blue, completely captivating and enthralling.  Before long the urge to purge arose and I was sick into my ever-present bowl.  Afterwards I was free to enjoy the rest of the ceremony and began to see the particular style in which Eladio worked.  His skills as a musician were impressive, especially when playing the harmonica.  He also had a nifty trick of using a red torch to undertake his healing work, a strong effect when under the influence of Madre Ayahuasca.

Overall, the night was better than the previous one although I still felt it was lacking.  My realisation was a humbling one.  Perhaps I did need healing of some kind, although I struggled with the word and preferred to call it cleansing.  I vowed to ask ayahuasca to help cleanse my body, spirit and mind in order that I might learn in the future.  As always, she was only too happy to oblige.