El Colibrí IX - Spiderman/Flyman...

The owl, my power animal, made an appearance to instigate my experience that night.  Sitting very alert and still I could feel its gaze assessing the space before me.  Within minutes the medicine came on very strongly and it was difficult to sit up.  Throughout the evening I continually slumped to the mattress but each time I felt Eladio telepathically willing me to sit up.  Despite repeated attempts I eventually submitted to the will of my body and remained supine for most of the night.

As I lay down I imagined (or felt) ayahuasca operating on my ear.  I could sense a spider inside, pulsing occasionally.  Presuming this was the insect (either real or energetic) that had caused my infection I tried to direct my intention towards its expulsion.  After some time it felt as if the spider had gone, although my ear was still painful.  I asked ayahuasca whether the operation had been a success and thought I was given the true message that it had, and the symptoms would be gone in the morning.  Needless to say, they weren't.  This raised the question 'How do you discern true messages of ayahuasca from the ramblings of the monkey mind?'  A difficult one to say the least.  In the morning Rory suggested the spider may well have been an animal spirit which was working to help me, to extract the negativity causing the infection.  This explanation appealed to me but the pain was growing and I wanted to take the antibiotics.  Surprise was my response when Eladio suggested I hold off and let ayahuasca do her work.  The doctor at the clinic had told me infections often lead to perforated eardrums if allowed to run their course.  A leap of faith was needed, and that's what I took, selecting to postpone the course of antibiotics.

Back to the experience itself...  There were many strong visions including a demon within that overwhelmed me when it surfaced.  This is such a hard thing to describe as it really has to be felt.  It's as though there is an entity living within me that has been controlling some of my negative behaviour over the years.  Something so strong it was impossible to resist.  I realise how this may sound to many, it sounds pretty crazy to me too, but that's the experience. Eladio seemed to know it was there during his rounds.  The location he placed his thumb on my spine was the exact centre of this entity's energy.  Weird.

During the introduction to the plant dieta, we were told it would be possible to connect to the plant spirit and  ajo sacha made an appearance.  First I got the sense of ayahuasca as an all powerful plant spirit.  A kind of energetic shield like an umbrella under which other spirits could operate.  The vision of ajo sacha was one in which I was stood in front of my tambo bathing with her watching approvingly as the process cleaned my systems.  Powerful when combined, I got the sense of these plants helping me.

After the invasion of the spider it was the turn of the fly.  For an unknown reason I began to see images from the film 'The Fly' with Jeff Goldblum.  As these images proceeded I felt I was becoming this man-fly hybrid.  I could feel the insectivorous characteristics permeating my mind, felt myself vomiting on food before eating, the skittish eyes constantly searching.  Although it sounds pretty grim it was quite entertaining to get another perspective.

After the ceremony, in which I hadn't been sick, I was chatting with my girlfriend outside... no touching, naturally.  Suddenly the purge came and I staggered towards the trees clutching my mouth.  I knew I wouldn't make it to the trees in time which scuppered my plan to donate the purge to a tree in a controlled manner.  It's suggested the spirit of the tree can be grateful for your donation as it can help them grow.  You just need to connect first and ask permission.  On this occasion there was no time for that.  I staggered forwards not knowing where to go or where to puke, becoming increasingly disorientated.  Suddenly a little bush next to me seemed to cry out, "Me!  Over here!  Come to me!"  Deeply grateful I collapsed to my knees and grasped the stem of the young tree.  Finally grounded, I was able to deliver a hearty portion of fertiliser directly to the roots of this little plant with which I seemed to have connected.  Afterwards, however silly it may sound, I spent a while talking to the plant, as if it were a pet dog.  never before had I felt that plants, too, have their own characters.

El Colibrí VIII - Infection defection...

For the previous two days something had been bothering me.  My ear had been getting increasingly painful and it was clear to me I had an infection of some kind.  This was a concern as infections can become pretty nasty very quickly in the jungle humidity.  The only safe preventative action was a course of antibiotics but this would mean no more ayahuasca.  It's not safe to mix many pharmaceuticals with this powerful plant medicine, especially antibiotics.  I asked Eladio for his advice and he told me it was possible an insect had entered my ear and caused the infection.  His suggested I go to the clinic in Iquitos to have it cleaned and assessed.  He had previously worked in hospitals as a nurse and I was grateful for his medical training and practical approach.  No sacrifices or offerings necessary.

Given that I was meant to be in ajo sacha isolation the last thing I wanted to do was head in to the turmoiil that is Iquitos at Christmas.  There are so many people shopping at this time of year they close many side streets to accomodate the extra market stalls.  Bumping and swerving our way through the crazy traffic, we arrived at the clinic.  I'm happy to report how pleased I was with the clinic.  The facilities were clean, I only had to wait a short time, the staff were very professional and it didn't cost an arm and a leg.  Just shy of a pony for assessment, cleaning and medication, which included drops, ibuprofen and antibiotics.  Mission accomplished, we headed to a restaurant where I had to drink a cup of boldo whilst watching all the centre's staff and volunteers eating sumptuous meals.  On my return I was only too happy to be alone in my tambo, readjusting to the soothing sounds of the jungle while the pain spread from my ear into my jaw making even a small boiled carrot a task to consume.  Reassured by the presence of the medication I could relax.  However, the pills would have to remain untouched until the following day as the time for another ceremony had arrived.

El Colibrí VII - Vampires beware...

During the conversation held every morning the night after a ceremony, Eladio suggested it would benefit me to undertake a plant dieta.  These special plant diets usually last for a period of seven to fifteen days but mine, along with Kristen's, would only last for three as this is all time would allow. I wasn't sure why I had been selected and wasn't particularly keen as  dietas can be quite restrictive.  Some of the conditions include:

• Isolating oneself as much as possible in order to connect with the spirit of the plant being worked with.  This meant spending the three days in a tambo, the wooden huts deeper in the jungle away from other people.
• Limiting reading to as little as possible as it is seen as a distraction, the idea is to still oneself as far as is possible.  Writing a journal is acceptable.
• No listening to music so the ears can absorb more of the sounds of the jungle.
• Restricting the diet to extremely simple foods.  For me this meant a boiled carrot and the water from cooked rice for breakfast, potatoes or some very limited boiled vegetables for lunch and no dinner.  Nice!
• No physical contact with anyone... including my girlfriend.  This was the trickiest part.  Throughout our ceremonies together the prospect of a cuddle at the end of each evening is one of the most welcome moments.  So, no slap and no tickle.

The plant Eladio had chosen for me was ajo sacha, the name, a mixture of Spanish and Quechua, means 'garlic vine'  To begin the dieta I first had to take a shower then enter the maloka for an initiation ceremony.  I was given a tumbler full of ajo sacha water to drink.  This is a concoction made from the scrapings of about three or four roots of the plant.  As you can probably imagine, its flavour isn't a patch on raspberry ice cream and, in addition to the taste, it has a caustic quality and feels almost carbonated as it burns its way down the oesophagus.  Kristen found it particularly unpleasant and vomited instantly.  This work with plants has so much nausea and sickness involved with it, it's a miracle anyone ever begins.  Testament to the possible outcomes, I suppose.

After ingesting the drink we were instructed to take a bath using water infused with herbs, flowers and ajo sacha.  You can imagine how pleasant I smelt after that.  This garlic aroma didn't leave me for the entire duration of the dieta.  It especially seemed to emanate from my palms.  Eau de ajo - not quite the ladykiller of Old Spice!  During the bath we washed the body twice from head to foot.  The first time focussing on removing negativities and the second to instill positive qualities as well as asking for good health and guidance from the plant.  Ajo sacha is known to be helpful in cleansing and protection.  I surrendered to to the process.  After the bath we returned to the maloka for a blessing before retiring to my tambo for the night.

El Colibrí VI - Tobacco is good for you...

We are continually taught that tobacco is bad for us.  It's true that smoking contributes to all kind of horrible diseases, especially the adulterated cigarettes the corporations provide the world over.  However, in shamanism tobacco is considered one of the most powerful plants of all.  It has been used for thousands of years in many parts of the world from the jungles of Peru to the Siberian wilderness.  It is used as a powerful purgative to cleanse the body.  It was my turn to experience tobacco in a completely new light through a tobacco purge.

At about ten o´clock I entered the maloka where Ealdio was waiting with his latest tasty beverage.  He may be a man of power but I'd recommend getting someone else as a cocktail waiter.  He'd made a tea using tobacco with added coffee and sugar.  I can't quite see this replacing the quick fag and dash to Starbucks enjoyed by many office workers during their morning break but it wasn't as unpleasant as it sounds.  After gulping down the liquid I took a floral bath, first crossing my head and chest with the water (nothing to do with Christianity) before drinking a handful.  Following this I bathed from head to toe (more on this in the next entry).  Kristen and Jim, who were also having a tobacco purge, joined me in sitting with Eladio for the next ninety minutes.  We had been warned we may well feel pretty awful.  Anyone who's smoked too much in one go can imagine why.  However, after an hour and a half we still felt fine and decided to head back to the main house.  Before we left, Eladio handed us each a bottle of boldo tea.  A herb which assists the plant purgatives in cleansing the body.  Although not unleasant, we were to drink so much of this tea over the next few days it slowly became my nemesis.

I returned to my room where my girlfriend was waiting, keen to watch me as I went through the process.  To help I drank half a litre of boldo in the hope of purging.  This did the trick and, sure enough, I was sitting pretty with a bowl full of the contents of my poor, confused stomach.  A smugness filled me as I thought I'd got away with completing a tobacco purge without any nausea.  Confidently, I trotted downstairs for lunch.  Halfway through, however, I began whining to my other half that I couldn't eat any more.  A great surprise for her as she'd become familiar with my hearty appetite.  We returned to the bedroom where the nausea kicked in.  For about two hours I lay on the bed saturating the mattress with my sweat.  Tossing this way and that I couldn't shake the feeling.  Eventually she suggested we go for a swim which seemed like a good idea.  Full of feminine intuition, her suggestion was perfectly timed as, when I was leaving the building, I purged again... big time... everywhere.  I was grateful to be outside and just made it to the toilet in time to avoid fertilising the entire garden.  Tobacco is indeed a powerful plant!  After the swim I skipped dinner, my appetite having done a runner.  I spent a little quality time with my girlfriend as we were about to be separated, against our wishes!

El Colibrí V - Shamanic power...

The ceremonies were held every other day, with a rest day between each for recuperation and integration.  This was the second ceremony with Eladio and in it I realised why he deserved the title 'Don'.  Eladio's father was a healer specialising in tobacco (a tabaquero), his grandfather had been the same but, in addition, he was also an ayahuasqero.  It is from him Eladio learnt many of the secrets and traditions of his shamanic practice.  Now almost 50 years old, he has been working with plant medicines for over 30 years.  During a brief period in Peru when the government declared ayahuasca illegal, Eladio protested and was sentenced to nine months in jail.  This earned him the title 'Defender of the Vine'.  It is clear he believes in his mission to heal and teach as many people as possible.

My visions began relatively quickly; they were the strongest and most surprising I'd ever had with my eyes open.  The first menifested when Eladio had moved closer to Kristen and was performing some healing through gentle whistling.  Above his head, stretching across the maloka, appeared a dragon.  This huge, ornate being took a swipe at Kristen with its giant claw just as Eladio was using a type of sharp outbreath used for clearing which sounded something like, "sssssshhhhoo!"  The dragon disappeared.  I'd thought the dragon was attacking Kristen but, in the following day's discussion, Eladio said he often worked with dragon spirits and this one was there to assist him.

This powerful clearing breath was used throughout the ceremony.  At the end of his icaros, Eladio would often clear the space of dark energy using this method.  At the end of a couple of his songs I saw bright beams of light blasting across the roof of the maloka.  It seemed like anything in the way was blasted out of the space.  Protection in action.  During the icaros the build up of energy weas palpable.  There were moments Eladio was singing and dancing in front of his mesa (table) when I saw energy pouring from him in al directions, like a river of feathers from his body.

One of his actions was one of the most convincing displays of his power I saw during my stay.  I hadn't felt at all nauseous throughout the evening, just a feeling of liquid in my stomach when lying down.  Eladion made his rounds, singing and playing the maracas with vigour.  When he came to me I instinctively sat upright and moved along to his rhythm.  At one point he crouched before me, something he only did once.  It felt as though he was singing directly into my stomach.  Although I felt absolutley fine a moment before, as soon as he stood up and moved on I purged massively.  Frantically reaching for my bowl I was just in time to catch the torrent of burning hot vomit surging from my insides like the jet from a firefighter's hose.  This was one of the few moments my consciousness moved beyond my awareness.  After some minutes of purging  on my hands and knees I was finally able to sit upright only to find my bowl in a position I hadn't expected it to be.  'Where was I being sick then?' I wondered.  On the floor, was the unwelcome answer.  Although most of the considerable volume of liquid had gone into the bowl, some of it had either splashed out or completely missed and ended up in a puddle on the floor.  Needless to say I spent the next ten mintues scrabbling around in the dark cleaning it up.  The joys of ayahuasca!

By the time of Eladio's next round I was deep in the medicine.  Again, I instinctively sat up when he arrived at my mattress.  This time he place his hand on my head and I felt as if he was holding his face millimetres from mine.  Just when I realised this wasn't the case and he was still upright, he was snatching at my chest removing whatever negativity he saw residing within.  Before I knew what had happened he was off again to the next pasajero leaving my jaw trembling with the powerful energy he had just transmitted.

Other visions were equally impressive and transient.  Like lying down feeling very contented and hearing a purring, very loudly within and without.  When I sat up it stopped.  On lying down again it returned and soothed me deeply.  Or seeing light emanating from my body, something I've seen before but am always utterly captivated by.  Or seeing several 'Eladios' in the maloka at the same time, omnipresence in action.  Maybe most important is a felt ability to help other people remotely.  I suppose it's akin to the power of prayer and intention, although my western mind resists such concepts.  For example, I saw someone close to me suffering because their heart isn't fully open.  Although at a core level they want to love others, they find it difficult to let go of the judgement.  Ego gets in the way.  I felt my own heart reaching out to theirs, gently encouraging its own self-liberation by alowing love to flow more freely.

Overall a powerful night full of visions, sensations and feelings the authenticity of which is difficult to deny.  For a long time I have been asking whether these manifestations are glimpses of a normally concealed reality or simply a hallucinogenic resut of biochemical reactions in the brain.  This night shifted my opinion towards the former a considerable distance.

El Colibrí IV - Doctor Feelgood...

After another lazy day that evening saw our first ceremony with don Eladio.  This made me reflect on my reasons for coming to the centre.  There are two general motivating factors for people to drink ayahuasca - healing and learning.  Not being particularly unhealthy my reason was clear.  I wanted to learn about the all-powerful plant medicine to a depth I'd not experienced before.  I wanted to see the movement of energy in the world and in my body which is normally concealed during our normal state of consciousness.  I wanted to understand how this reality works beyond the level of our logical, reasoning intellects.  No small ambitions and I was pleased to hear we'd be drinking ayahuasca brewed by Ron Wheelock, the Gringo Shaman of Iquitos.  A powerful concoction by all accounts.

His particular recipe is a closely guarded secret but one thing's for sure - it's sickenly sweet.  This does mask the foul taste to some extent but creates a whole new challenge in dealing with the edulcorant liquor.  After the ceremony was opened by Eladio with his space-clearing and blessing, each pasajero drank in turn.  We settled down to wait whilst the shaman, dressed in a silky white suit Elvis would have been proud of,  whistled to call in the spirits.  I meditated and, as previously, had some enhanced physical sensations of deep stillness.  After an hour, thinking the ayahuasca was kicking in, I shifted my posture only to realise I was still in my normal state of consciousness.  Disappointment arose as in previous ceremonies I would have been flying high by this point.  In the moonlit maloka around me no one had purged, strange after so much time had elapsed.  The only indication the medicine was not completely ineffective for a second time was Kristen, whose mattress was directly to my left.  She was giggling and moaning; crawling around the wooden floor banging it with her hand.  As time wore on she became more vociferous and active to a distracting level.  Normally I try and respond with compassion and tolerance when people can't contain themselves but I found it hard.  The frustration of so much time with ineffective medicine was taking its toll.  When Eladio came to me during his healing rounds I willed him to leave, my frustration morphing into anger.

Jim crossed the maloka to sit with Kristen as she began to lose control completely.  I lay on my side, with my back to them and decided I'd go to sleep.  As Jim's presence calmed Kristen I allowed my attention to shift to an internal perspective which is when the effects of DMT began.  These effects are common with ayahuasca journeys and often manifest in the beginning stages.  Geometric patterns and colours are frequently seen in shifting images akin to the kaleidoscopes of childhood.  Before my third eye were beeswax patterns of red and blue, completely captivating and enthralling.  Before long the urge to purge arose and I was sick into my ever-present bowl.  Afterwards I was free to enjoy the rest of the ceremony and began to see the particular style in which Eladio worked.  His skills as a musician were impressive, especially when playing the harmonica.  He also had a nifty trick of using a red torch to undertake his healing work, a strong effect when under the influence of Madre Ayahuasca.

Overall, the night was better than the previous one although I still felt it was lacking.  My realisation was a humbling one.  Perhaps I did need healing of some kind, although I struggled with the word and preferred to call it cleansing.  I vowed to ask ayahuasca to help cleanse my body, spirit and mind in order that I might learn in the future.  As always, she was only too happy to oblige.

El Colibrí III - Crazy nights and lazy days...

There's a certain pace of life you have to enter if you wish to stay at the Hummingbird.  The ceremonies are full on and hectic events but the times in between, which make up the bulk of your stay, are for relaxation.  No work, shops, phones, television or internet which can send people crazy if they're not used to it.  To compensate, on offer is a chance to connect with the vibrant jungle surrounding you, not possible to do when constantly diverting the attention into the distractions of modern live.  If this is a step too far then you can ease yourself into a more peaceful state by talking with your companions, playing with the animals, reading from the extensive library or swimming in the lake.  Slowly, everyone settles and a collective calm descends.  A precious commodity in our modern world.